Up early. Too early. Packed, Repacked, Wiped. Tidied.
We have food to eat up. Bananas, apples, pears, goats cheese, avo, pea shoots – you get the picture. Interesting brekkie plate. I pack a picnic bag for the long wait at the airport. I just hate wasting food. I cram the coffee, cereal and tea bags into my over-full bag.
Owen helps by finishing the goats cheese.
We have an hour before we have to leave. I may have already explained that I don’t do waiting. So since I am already pacing I go for a walk round the block, past Poppy Coffee where I grab the now familiar de-caff soy cap and wander home to drink it and load the car.
So goodbye Cobblers Cottage.
The car has to be back at the airport by 11 and we have yet to refuel at the garage nearest the “rental return”. We park where instructed and look for a “Thrifty” person. We find an “Avis” person who tells us to go into the terminal to the desk.
“Just pop the keys in there” says the Thrifty person. Don’t you want to know where we have parked? Do you not need to check it over for dents? Nono. Just pop the keys in there. So why did I have a nervous breakdown in case we were 5 minutes late and had to pay for an extra day? Why did I unpack my bag looking for a pen to write down the number of the bay where we had abandoned the car? I have no idea.
Now a long wait. We are encumbered by bags. At least 2 hours before we can check in. Coffee. Sit outside in the sunshine among the smokers (in fact I sat on a nearby wall and got ants in my pants). Explore the terminal (a newsagent and a coffee shop) At last post Hannah’s birthday card to Queensland.Wait.
At last we check in. V quick. Through security. This is the bit I hate. Through the scanner machine. Do they really think I have something concealed? Take your hankie out of your pocket m’am.
And breathe.
Through into departures. Lunch in the foodie bit. We look round duty free seperately so we don’t have to lug the bags. Whilst on the phone to Alice she and I choose nail varnish. Three for $25 or something. Alice confirms the bargain. I buy perfume. Lovely. Owen comes back with sweeties!
We look together at Ipads. I need something bigger than this for writing. And then a first. My name is called over the tannoy. Would Margaret Singleton please report to gate two. Me! It’s me! Owen laughs. I go to gate two. Margaret Singleton? ‘Tada!” I reply inappropriately. I just wanted to confirm that we have managed to load you a vegetarian dish. Oh goodie. Deflated I return to Owen. Finally we board. Same seats as before. Leg room, no storage. 5 1/2 hour first flight. We get away by about 4.30. I’ve been up 10 hours! Food was dire. I get a vegan dinner in fact.
The flight is not full. There is a very young baby. Mum on her own. Not enough hands. Trying to shield herself as she nurses. The flight cot is attached to the wall but baby won’t settle. Because she is in roomy seats some idiot tries to push through the row to get to the loo. Jogs the cot. Wakes the baby. In fairness the baby is little and does eventually sleep most of the flight. More than can be said for me!
Again we have screens that pop up out of the arm rest. mine has a very very loud squeak as it moves. It may have been responsible for keeping the baby awake. One has a choice of touch screen or remote control. Touching the screen, even gently, makes the entire thing collapse – with a very loud squeak! This happens a number of times. At first it is funny, but the repetitive hammering my shin gets as the screen dives forward makes it less funny (for me) and more funny (for Owen) as we progress.
Since I am writing retrospectively, the movies I watched on the flights have somewhat merged. I remember MIdnight in Paris, Fading Gigolo, Great Gatsby (the last 10 minutes of which I had to watch with no sound and Chinese sub-titles as the headphones had been collected)
We arrive KL and disembark. I have now been up since 6.30am and it is 10.30 pm in some timezone or other. I have been up 16 hours and it’s bedtime. I have a coffee.
KL airport is otherworldly. Built like a giant wheel, the glass-domed centre – the size of a sports stadium and the height of a cathedral – is an equatorial forest complete with birds and butterflies. We didn’t have time to explore but what a wonderful thing…. Around the dome circles a two storey tube with retail outlets on either side at both levels, including services and food outlets. Bluewater. Then from the tube run huge domed tunnels leading to the various terminals – four or five tubes. The floors sparkle and the lights are like stars. We have limited time. There is a Desigual. I almost succumb. But don’t.
Time to board again. More security. I have bought us water and juice – since we have not left flight-side – but we can’t take them through. We drink as much as we can and abandon them.
Same aircraft as London to KL. Huge two storey monster. In the third leg-room seat is a Malaysian man. He is tall, for a Malaysian (which reminds me – the loos. One has a choice of a hole in the ground or a “western” loo. I didn’t realise until I had encountered the hole in the ground wearing my very heavy rucksack – the girls will know the difficulties – but the “western” loos are SO short, low, near to the ground, so as to make them impossible to rise from if one is 6ft tall. (I remember Ray telling us that toilet bowls are always too short because they are made in Asia. This it seems is true! In Asia they are even shorter. They must assume that by making the export version slightly taller they are catering for people like me. They are not!)
Back to my neighbour. I’m sure he is very nice but he sniffs and snorts the whole time he is awake. Should I offer him a lightly fragranced tissue. I think best not. I tighten the headphones. The flight is 12 1/2 hours. It would arrive in London at 11.50 am Perth time. I have been up by then for 29 hours. I do get the odd nap, but a slightly jippy airport tummy prevents long sleep and in any event I can’t sleep properly sitting up with an old dancing hip injury. Time is a strange thing. It passes. One knows it will pass, but sitting in the dark, head throbbing lightly, dreading the next long walk back to the loo, it appears to stop.
But we do arrive and I ma here to tell the tale. We encounter the e-passport facility. Easy Peasy says Owen. I have to take my specs off since I was required to for my passport photo. So I can’t read the instructions. The helpful immigration officer shouts instructions from the other side. “Stand in the footprints” What footprints – oh yes. “Slide your passport photo side down into the slot” What slot – oh yes. “No madam, the other way round. Turn your passport the other way round. No, not the other way up, the other way round” OK. “Now look at the screen” What screen – oh yes. Ping. “It says you can go now” Does it. Owen waits patiently. “See” he says “Easy Peasy!”
We part company, he for the Heathrow Express, me for the National Expess bus stand. I have an hour to wait. Costa beckons and I spend a pleasant time with coffee and a lovely Melbourne student who is waiting for the bus to Brighton. She has British Dutch and Australian passports. But is apparently doesn’t make it easier to travel. She concludes that it makes immigration suspicious. She is to complete her overseas semester from Melbourne Uni in Bristol, but is spending the summer in Brighton first.
Bus on time. I read the free paper I was given with my water in WH Smith, and fail to sleep. Something resembling a monsoon is occuring in the UK. Avoiding two potential hold-ups caused by very recent accidents that have not yet been “recovered”, and thrashing through the rain, we arrive in Ipswich 3 1/4 hours later, on time and I’m collected by my brother, delivered to my sister (and my car) collect shopping and grumpy cats, and finally get home. I have now been up for 35 hours. I stay away for a further 6 hours, somehow, and then collapse into bed for blissful sleep. I manage 8 hours uninterrupted. It is 4am. But is is light and feels like morning so on we go.
It was a very long way round.
Reflections of Australia. I’ve said it all already
What a joy to be able to go, to spend time with my beautiful Alice who I miss more than I can say, and with my lovely Owen. To see them together. For us all to be together, to laugh and wonder and just chill. I am a very fortunate girl.










